5 Winners Teach Us How to Learn From Failure

When author J. K. Rowling addressed the graduating class at Harvard last June, she didn't focus on success. Instead, she spoke about failure. She related a story about a young woman who gave up her dream of writing novels to study something more practical. Nonetheless, she ended up as an unemployed single mom "as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain without being homeless." But during this rock-bottom time, she realized she still had a wonderful daughter, an old typewriter, and an idea that would become the foundation for rebuilding her life. Perhaps you've heard of Harry Potter? "You might never fail on the scale I did," Rowling told that privileged audience. "But it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all--in which case, you fail by default.

"You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned."

Lots of Americans are tasting failure for the first time now and immediately trying to spit it out. Whether it's a home foreclosure, unemployment, or the evaporation of hard-earned savings, the have-it-all generation suddenly doesn't. But in the bitterness that accompanies adversity are lessons worth savoring--and, if you look hard enough, sweet opportunity.

On the pages that follow, you'll learn how the brain responds to failure and how it can be reprogrammed for success using some simple tricks. You'll also find advice from a successful entrepreneur who claims that times like these are actually among the best for launching dreams. But most valuable, you'll meet some ordinary people who were in some tough situations. A few screwed up; others got sucker punched. But even though their stories are quite different, the outcomes are the same. They all bounced back. And you can too.

As Rowling herself would admit, it doesn't take a wizard to do it.


"I failed to be the wife with a white-picket life, but I've since given it to my children …"
--Randi Ketchum, 36, Huron, Ohio

It was one of the happiest times of my life. I was 29 and had just received my bachelor's degree, graduating with honors despite working two jobs and being a wife and mother. My parents and five-year-old son were in the audience when I walked onto the stage at Ashland University to get my diploma. I was so excited and proud to be starting a teaching career and contributing more to my family's well-being.

But when I got home that evening, there was a note from my husband written on the back of an envelope. It basically said he'd come to get his clothes and wouldn't be back. We'd been having trouble, but the finality of that note still came as a shock. He had emptied our bank account. We were horribly in debt. I had quit my previous jobs in anticipation of interviewing for a teaching position. Plus, I was eight months pregnant.

Most young women have an idealized picture of the happy-go-lucky life they're going to live in a house with a white-picket fence. But no one ever sits you down and says that's not reality, and sometimes life is just darn ugly. It all caved in for me that night. I was embarrassed, scared, and angry and felt I had failed.

But I had my son, and I was about to bring a new life into the world, so despite my deep sadness, I had to go on. The next morning, I woke up (literally and figuratively), put my feet on the floor, took a deep breath, fixed breakfast, and basically did everything I always did. I used my routine to keep me moving. After being in the military for six years, I guess you can say I fell back on my training, like all good soldiers do in tough situations. One small step after one small step was the way I bounced back.

And in the seven years since, I've continued moving forward. I got a job as a kindergarten teacher, earned a master's degree in education, and watched my babies grow to 12 and seven. I certainly would never have chosen to put them through this, but in retrospect, I'm glad it happened to me when it did. It helped me find my voice and myself a lot sooner. It helped me grow independent, confident, and strong--things I'm hopefully instilling now in my children.


"I failed at everything when I was young, but I just sold my company for $75 million …"
--Bob Williamson, 62, South Florida

In 1970, when I was 24, I hitchhiked to Atlanta and, ironically, ended up on Luckie Street. I was anything but lucky at the time. I was a drug addict and was wanted by police. Everything I owned was in a pillowcase. I had decided I was going to either straighten up or commit suicide. I sold a pint of blood for $7 and got a room for the night at the Luckie Street YMCA. The next day, I landed a job cleaning bricks, then moved into a boardinghouse and slowly started making my way back.

But luck wasn't on my side just yet. I got into a head-on collision in a borrowed car and was hurt so badly, I was in the hospital for three months. While I was there, I took to reading the Bible. I picked it up out of boredom and really thought I would disapprove of it. But I read the New Testament, then the Old, and then the New again--every word of it. And at that moment, I started to feel a gentle, steady pull of encouragement. Even though I had the morals of a junkyard dog, I felt forgiven and even loved.

Shortly after I left the hospital, I met a wonderful young woman, whom I married six months later. She was like something out of The Brady Bunch, as opposite to me as you could imagine, but we've been married now for 38 years and have a large, loving family. I went on to become a pillar of the community and a successful businessman. In fact, I just sold my software company, the ninth business I founded, for $75 million.

I don't believe in coincidence or luck. I believe in God. And if there's a lesson I learned from this, it's that God seems to show his strength and power through weakness. I think he picks the down-and-out on purpose to demonstrate what's possible. But it isn't always an aha moment. He doesn't just bless you and heap on the millions. Rather, God shows you the way and supplies the opportunities. Then it's up to you to set the goals, devise the strategy, and, most important, provide the man-hours. That's the way you get to lucky street.
"I failed to save someone's life, but I didn't make the same mistake twice …"
--Mary Wilson, 65, Montecatini, Italy

I was making dinner in my apartment in Norfolk, Virginia, in 1996 when I heard breaking glass and a woman screaming next door. I knew immediately what was happening: The young woman was being beaten by her husband--and this time, I didn't hesitate to act.You see, 15 years earlier, when I was living in a house near Boston, I had another young couple as upstairs tenants. They would fight occasionally and get loud, but they'd always settle down when I phoned to complain. But very early one morning, I heard screaming. I called like I normally did, and when no one answered and things quieted down, I went back to bed. The next thing I knew, someone was banging on my door, and when I opened it, I saw the man who lived upstairs. "I've killed Sandy," he said. He was covered in blood and, as I later found out, had used knives and broken bottles to stab her to death and then tried to kill himself. I called the police and went upstairs. What I saw was so horrible, I couldn't continue to live there. I sold the house at a loss that week.

I was pretty traumatized afterward. I never sought psychiatric help but probably should have. I couldn't get over the fact that I had an intuition about that guy, but I dismissed it. I knew my guilt wasn't rational, but it never left me. Deep down, I always felt I could have done something.

And that's why when I heard the screaming again in '96, like a cruel déjà vu, I was immediately on the phone with police and then out the door to help. I was angry, livid, maybe even a little out of control. Their door was dead-bolted from inside, but through the broken glass panels, I could see him dragging her into the bathroom. He was covered in blood from crawling through the glass and was screaming, "I'm going to drown you!" I started pounding on the door and yelling, "Leave her alone! I can see what you're doing!" That must have surprised him, because he stumbled, and then she broke free, and he fled out the back door.

The girl was bruised but not seriously injured. Since I was in the Navy at the time, I took her to the base for safekeeping and then helped her through the entire legal process until he was finally convicted.

In retrospect, the whole story is so strange, I almost can't believe it. It's like it was meant to happen. I no longer feel guilty, because things have come full circle. But what I still occasionally ponder is how opportunity exists even in horrible situations--the opportunity to learn, to improve, and ultimately to react differently if you're ever given a second chance.


"I failed to be careful and lost my eye, but it's helped me see things more clearly …"
--Alex Gadd, 52, Pikeville, Tennessee

I was loading my truck to go to the flea market when a hook on one of the bungees bent and snapped back into my left eye. The pain was like a hot sword had been shoved through my head. I fell down on my hands and knees, and when I saw what looked like gelatin and blood dripping onto the ground, I knew it was bad.

They took me to Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, where there's a special eye center. The doctors there operated on me several times but couldn't save my eye. When they told me the news, I wanted to die. I was divorced, and I figured no woman would ever want anything to do with me. All that was left of my eye was white, and my face was swollen and bruised.

Even after I got my prosthetic eye, I couldn't shake the depression. To make matters worse, I lost my job as a transportation officer for the Tennessee Department of Children's Services because of concerns about my driving ability. But one morning, I woke up and the TV was on, and there was this 16-year-old girl. She had been severely burned on her face, hands, and legs and was learning to walk again. She wore a big smile and seemed to look right at me and said, "You can't ever give up." At that moment, I thought, This is just an eye. Get over it.

And I did.

It's been almost 12 years since my accident, and there isn't anything I can't do now that I used to do. Women still seem to like me, and no one can even tell I have a prosthetic eye, because the new one is that good. And although I didn't get my old job back, they reinstated my license, and I haven't had so much as a fender bender in over a million miles of driving.

I read a story once where this man was feeling bad because he had no shoes, until he met a man who had no feet. No matter how devastating your problem is, remember there's always someone somewhere who's worse off. Despite having just one eye, I see things a lot more clearly now.


"I failed to realize my dream, but I've since realized other things …"
--Daryl Nelson, 36, Brooklyn, New York

A record deal. It happened to my best friend and me when we were juniors at Virginia State University playing in a hip-hop band called BizzrXtreemz. I heard that Clive Davis, the founder and president of Arista Records, blessed the deal himself. We dropped out of school to move to New York in the summer of '94. We were 21 years old, and we were on our way.

In order to concentrate on our music, we hired a manager and entrusted him with our $5,000 advance. But one day when we showed up at the studio, we were told we couldn't record anymore because they hadn't been getting paid. Our manager was a crook. With no money of our own, we threw together a few songs, but the quality was horrible. The head of Arista's music department hated them, and we lost the deal.

After six months, it was over.

I remember sitting in a daze under a bridge with winos and homeless people. Nothing had ever hinted at failure. I thought I was destined. Of course, we didn't immediately give up. We cut other demos and took them around town, but after a while, we had to start working to survive. The music never left us; it just became a smaller part of our lives. I'm a benefits coordinator for a union now, the latest in a long string of customer-service jobs I've held in the 15 years since that summer. My partner and I broke up some years back, and I've released a few solo songs under the name River Nelson for a small London-based label. But I'm not chasing the same dream anymore. There comes a time when you have to reassess your dreams and cast out what's lofty or no longer reality. At the same time, though, you keep those things that are valuable, which for me was the resiliency, perseverance, and focus I'd acquired. If you go at it this way, you'll see that the pot of gold is really chasing that pot of gold.

I still do music, but I do it for music's sake now. I've redirected all the energy I used to put into the business of music into other creative things. And that's been a new beginning. I still have a piece of my original dream, but now I also have all these other blessings.

Four puppies

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about Nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he Felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the Eyes of a little boy.
Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer.
And with that he let out a whistle,"Here,Dolly!" he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this One noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself To a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need Someone who understands."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Mountain Story

 

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S 

Sand and Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE

EAGLES IN A STORM

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks?

 The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.

The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them.

God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.

Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

Two frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them 
fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit 
was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The 
two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit 
with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, 
that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took 
heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down 
and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, 
the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He 
jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the 
other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to 
them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the 
entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging 
word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it 
through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes 
to kill them.

Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your 
path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand 
that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak 
words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in 
difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time 
to encourage another.

Life Still Has A Meaning

If there is a future there is time for mending-
Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.

Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow-
If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.

If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping-
When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.

Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling-
If there is time for praying there is time for healing

So if through your window there is a new day breaking-
Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,

If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning-
There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.

BUTTERFLY

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

I asked for Strength.........

And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom.........

And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity.........

And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage.........

And God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love.........

And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors.........

And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted ........

I received everything I needed!

Trust in God. Always !

THE BRICK

About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old.

He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and - WHUMP! - it smashed Into the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH..!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"

"Please, mister, please. . . I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" Pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE -a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention. . . Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the bricks of life coming at to you. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has positive answers.

DON'T WE ALL

I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come 
from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work. 
Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would 
consider a bum. 
From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no 
money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times 
that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't 
want to be bothered times." 
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought. 
He didn't. 
He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn't look 
like he could have enough money to even ride the bus. 
After a few minutes he spoke. 
"That's a very pretty car," he said. 
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly 
blond beard keep more than his face warm. 
I said, "thanks," and continued wiping off my car.

He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never 
came. 
As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if 
he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true 
to the inner voice. 
"Do you need any help?" I asked. 
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. 
We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from 
those of higher learning and accomplishments.

 I expected nothing but an 
outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me. 
"Don't we all?" he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum 
in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge 
shotgun. 
Don't we all? 
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I 
needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus 
fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day. Those 
three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter 
how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you 
have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or 
a place to sleep, you can give help.

Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that. 
You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. 
They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different 
perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from 
daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see. 
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe 
he was more than that.

Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and 
wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves.

 Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help." 
Don't we all?

Touching life story.....

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For 
     many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's 
     showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told 
him that was all he wanted. 

     As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited 
     signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the 
morning  of his graduation his father called him into his private 
  study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine 
son, and  told him how much he loved him. He handed his son 
a beautiful   wrapped gift box. 

     Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man 
     opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, 
he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you 
give  me  a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy 
book. 

     Many years passed and the young man was very successful in 
business. 
     He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his 
     father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He 
had   not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make 
     arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had 
     passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He 
needed   to come home immediately and take care things. 
When he arrived at  his father's house, sudden sadness and 
regret filled his heart. 

     He began to search his father's important papers and 
     saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With 
tears,  he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he 
read those   words, a car key dropped from an envelope 
taped behind the Bible. 
It  had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the 
sports  car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, 
     and the words...PAID IN FULL. 

     How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not 
     packaged as we expected? 

GENEROSITY

Mahatma Gandhi went from city to city, village to village collecting funds for the Charkha Sangh. During one of his tours he addressed a meeting in Orissa. After his speech a poor old woman got up. She was bent with age, her hair was grey and her clothes were in tatters. The volunteers tried to stop her, but she fought her way to the place where Gandhiji was sitting. "I must see him," she insisted and going up to Gandhiji touched his feet. Then from the folds of her sari she brought out a copper coin and placed it at his feet. Gandhiji picked up the copper coin and put it away carefully. The Charkha Sangh funds were under the charge of Jamnalal Bajaj. He asked Gandhiji for the coin but Gandhiji refused. "I keep cheques worth thousands of rupees for the Charkha Sangh," Jamnalal Bajaj said laughingly "yet you won't trust me with a copper coin." "This copper coin is worth much more than those thousands," Gandhiji said. "If a man has several lakhs and he gives away a thousand or two, it doesn't mean much. But this coin was perhaps all that the poor woman possessed. She gave me all she had. That was very generous of her. What a great sacrifice she made. That is why I value this copper coin more than a crore of rupees."

The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man  was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and   families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military  service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the  man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where  his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and  color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while  children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite  detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.  Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive  words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should hehave all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see  anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt  ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He   began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that  window - and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window  began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man   watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking  stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.

The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no  words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he  could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his   first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

Moral of the story:

The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.

The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like   programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips  just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.

DETERMINATON

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.
 

"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.